Austin's 11 Finest Bloody Marys of 2015

Grab a brunch seat at the bar and peer into the kitchen as you sip what may be the city’s finest classical Bloody Mary. You won’t find gimmicky bells and whistles in this drink, just a robust, tomatoey beverage, perfectly balanced with horseradish and lemon. At $6, it’s proof that a well crafted, house-made Bloody doesn’t need to force you to skip dessert to save your wallet—and at Launderette, you really don’t want to skip dessert.

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Contigo’s the place I take out-of-towners when they want to experience the "new" Austin they’ve heard about on the teevee. Nothing completes a sunny patio brunch like the fresh, bright Contigo Bloody Mary, which you can order with a variety of boozes (including aquavit), though I recommend sticking with vodka to really honor the beauty of Contigo’s mix.

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Hyde Park is where you want to take your suburban parents when they come to town, and this no-frills Bloody Mary is what you want to drink before you take them on a walking tour of Hyde Park so you can wow them with tales of ridiculous Austin home prices. If Mom gives you hell for ordering two of these glasses of umami deliciousness, you can feel free to remind her that it's just three bucks.

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Those willing to wait for a table behind every bachelor party in Austin shall be rewarded, and indeed they are with 24 Diner’s refreshing Bloody. The house-made pickles complete a tangy mix that’s sure to oil your gears before you meander 'round the corner to raid the Waterloo Records wares.

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A La Condesa patio seat is fantastic for people-watching, but it’s made absolutely perfect with $2—yes, TWO DOLLARS—Bloody Mary from this downtown Mexican staple. Not too thick and not too thin, the La Condesa Bloody is a thing of glorious, affordable beauty with which to wash down its stellar salsa selection.

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People who are into cocktails like to throw the word "balance" around, but the folks at Licha’s have mastered the tension between sweet and savory with its Bloody Mary. It’s an eminently drinkable beverage, simply garnished, and best enjoyed on the restaurant’s convivial patio.

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A Bloody Mary isn’t a cocktail to get weird with unless you really know what you’re doing, and Vox’s distinctively nouveau Bloody is worthy of the effort put into this divine drink, which features celery foam and a pipette of Tabasco. If you hate it—you won’t, though—you can always avail yourself of the accompanying High Life pony back.

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It’s dangerous to bank on a single flavor when mixing up a Bloody Mary, but Fork & Vine serves up a beautifully garlicky sake-based brunch drink. Sake ‘Marys often verge on the edge of too-thin, but this one, with house-made pickles, is an ideal complement to the restaurant’s outdoor vibe.

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It’s fitting that a restaurant with a name as entertaining to say as "La Palapa" serves up a mighty fun michelada, complete with that down-home Tex-Mex joint upside-down beer. If your hangover is so bad you need a drink that takes two hands, the La Palapa michelada is the cure for what ails you.

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There’s much to lament about the New York-ification of Austin, but Weather Up’s fortifying Bloody Mary ain’t it. The NYC import makes a fine addition to the Austin brunch scene, and the bar’s pickle game is unrivaled in this lil’ backwater podunk town of ours.

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Chef Hoover Alexander is a gift that Austin doesn’t deserve and hasn’t earned, but he persists in providing some the finest old-school comfort food in town. The Hoover’s Bloody is finished with a garlic-pepper rim that makes for the most superb of sips. Get grandma one to go with her pancakes.

Image credit: Andrea Grimes