John Mueller Ranks Austin Barbecue Cooks in Twitter 'Rant'

Cranky pitmaster, crime solver, and prolific tweeter John Mueller has taken to the internet to both decry and weigh in on barbecue rankings. In a lengthy series of tweets he characterizes a "rant," Mueller lists people he considers to be "the other barbecue cooks" in Austin and also urges people to "stop obsessing" over "barbecue polls." Mueller praises La Barbecue's John Lewis and Ali Clem, his new apprentice, a "Tom" who is probably Tom Micklethwait, and "Whomever cooks at franklons." Read on for the full critique.

I'm tired of seeing bbq polls

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

Here's the deal I am the best ... Show up Saturday and let's have a great tailgate

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

Oh yeah Daniel piss off or come cook a brisket or ribs or whatever ... I don't give a shit what @tmbbq thinks

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

It's all bullshit... Tired of this shit

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

You want to know who the bbq cooks are in Austin besides me?

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

John Lewis

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

Ali Clem

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

Whomever cooks at franklons

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

My new aprentice

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

Tom does a great job

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

Haven't had blue ox

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

Yeah now every goes quiet

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

Sorry should have said best besides me

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

This isn't a game for any of us ... Austin is blessed with great bbq! Enjoy it stop obsessing over it

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

Ok rants over

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014

Oh yeah for that period when my food was really shitty... I sincerely apologize... Reason I won't get into

— John Mueller Meat (@JSM_meat) October 2, 2014