The Bite This Austin Episode: Just the One-Liners

Nadia G. "took a bite out of"/ rushed at a breakneck speed through Austin last night in the first episode of her super-edgy like whoa travel show for Cooking Channel, Bite This. Along with her crew of sitcomy sidekicks, she visited a number of notable Austin restaurants including Swift's Attic, Lick Ice Creams, The Vegan Nom and la Barbecue. Along the way, her man friends were kidnaped by a crypto-homosexual, a goose was acquired, and according to an earlier interview with HuffPo, she got chiggers. On to the Quotable Bite This. Feel free to add your picks in the comments.

Update! Now with a bonus video interlude of their visit to The Peached Tortilla.

1. On Nadia's previous visits to Austin: "The last time you were in Austin, you got wasted at South By and attacked a house plant."

2. On hitchhiking: "We're not going to offer our bodies unless we have to."

3. Swift's Mat Clouser on refusing to actually trash-talk other Austin restaurants, after being goaded to throw down about La Condesa and/or Uchiko's brussels sprouts: "I'm shoving your brussels sprouts down your throat La Condesa, you better believe it."

4. Swift's Mat Clouser on plating: "I'm sick of the swoop."

5. Nadia on Swift's restraint: "This is not too spicy, it's white person spicy."

6. Mat Clouser on what inspired his 'delightfully schizo cuisine':"I took a lot of [bleep] (ed: acid?) when I was younger."

7. The Spice Agent (?) on sustainable ice cream: "I hear your cows have no hormones. How do you get them excited for the licking?"

8. Nadia on editorial focus: "Go report on something Texasy."

9. Hans on the Blue Dot: "Texas? I thought we were in Austin."

10. Hans on journalistic integrity: "I didn't prepare a lot of questions."

11. The Vegan Nom's Chris Rios on interviews: "I didn't prepare a lot of answers."

12. Panos on humane farming: "And then I saw a goose, bro, it was so majestic like a swan but it was a goose."

13. Nadia asking the hard questions to John Lewis: "You're new school." "Aren't there barbecue dinosaurs shaking their walking sticks?"

14. John Lewis on respecting your elders, or as Nadia called them, "geezers": "You can learn a lot from geezers."

15. Nadia on ageism: "Don't you think the Eskimos had it right when at certain age they put you on the ice floe?"

16. Nadia on Texas brisket: "It's like roast beef but with some balls."

17. Nadia on compassion: "Poor Panos was so tortured about losing his duck."

18. Nadia on the heat: "How do you not sweat through your underwear?"

19. John Lewis with real talk: "The answer is don't wear underwear."
Check out their visit to The Peached Tortilla:

· Bite This [Official]
· All Nadia G. Coverage [EATX]