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Mayor Doug Guller Lays Out His Plans For Bikinis, TX

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The future home of redneck Ibiza?
The future home of redneck Ibiza?
Photo illustration: Andrea Grimes/Google Maps/Bikinis Official

After spending a year and a half looking for just the right downtrodden-and-or-desperate Texas city to rename after his chain of breastaurants, Bikinis Sports Bar & Grill owner Doug Guller finally found Bankersmith, Texas. Located along Highway 87 a few miles south of Fredricksburg and west of Luckenbach, the mostly abandoned Bankersmith is now officially Bikinis, Texas.

Guller says it'll be more like a "Bikinis Ranch" than one of his many teateries. You want the full-fledged breastaurant? Head for the city. You want a dance hall, a kiddie pool, maybe a place to park your RV? You want two-acre Bikinis.

"We want it to be a big playground," self-appointed mayor Guller told Eater Austin by spotty cell phone today while surveying his new rural domain. Think: less food, more booze. "We're going to have some live music and put in a dance hall."

Right now, the only building in town is the once-post office and general store that has been remodeled into a residence. Soon, that'll become part of the entertainment complex where Guller says, "we're going to add a lot of fun elements," like a hall-of-fame Bikinis retrospective with "throwback pictures" of both Bikinis and bikinis.

"There's a beautiful but old 1950's Skyliner cruise bus growing into the ground," says Guller, that'll be turned into a bar. Or maybe a of things might get turned into a bar--like any number of the metal sheds and lean-to buildings in the area. "We may look into doing the most bars per square foot," speculated Guller.

Currently the mayor's working on clean up and creating a Bikinis Bill Of Rights and Bikinis Declaration of Independence. There may someday be "Bikinis bucks" as currency. What is two acres now will someday be up to fifty, says Guller, complete with camping areas.

Bikinis, Texas will be open on "key" weekends "throughout the year," but with a projected opening of spring 2013, Guller's got a while to flesh out his concept.

(Sorry.)

· All Bikinis Coverage on Eater Austin [-EATX-]
· All Breastaurants Coverage on Eater Austin [-EATX-]
· Bikinis [Official]

Bikinis (approximately)

1148 U.S. 87 Comfort, TX 78013

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