To celebrate (?) Bad Pizza Power Hour, Eater Austin e-mailed some of our colleagues-about-town in the food writing world, asking them to tell us about the worst pizza they've ever eaten. Food writer Layne Lynch--you've seen her in Texas Monthly--remembers "nasty" pizza from her school days. Writes Lynch:
In elementary school, I had two lunch choices every Friday: pepperoni and broccoli pizza or spaghetti with meat sauce. The greasy spaghetti looked like a science experiment gone seriously wrong, so I hesitantly opted for the pizza.Nothing like the good old days, right y'all?
I'll never forget how disgusting it was. The pepperonis were in the shapes of cubes that were as hard to bite through as Lego pieces. To make matters worse, the lunch ladies would top the pizza off with huge, watery, mushy chunks of broccoli surrounded by American cheese that had this atrocious aftertaste. To this day, I still can't eat broccoli on my pizza, even if it looks wonderfully crisp and fresh. I simply won't do it.
The worst of it was that my grandmother – who was a second-grade teacher at my school – was on lunch duty on Fridays. She would make each student finish every bite of their meal before they could throw it away. She didn't believe in waste. I adored her, but on Fridays I would make a mad dash to the trash can to get rid of that nasty pizza.